Koenig Ludwig of Stagonia was in a rage.
"Why can't I have it? I need it so that I can work out my tensions on my enemies. I NEED a new rack. The old one has HIS monogram and is all stained with foul juices."
"Sire, we don't have the proper wood here in the Kingdom. It takes a very strong, non-warping wood to make a good Royal Rack."
"Well, get the right wood elsewhere then."
"But, Sire, no-one will sell to us. Your late unlamented predecessor alienated all of the states of Europa. And none will sell us anything."
"Who said anything about buying it? Why do you think we have an army? Who has a supply of the proper wood?"
"I believe that the Grand Duchy of Stollen has a Sawmill near the border that specializes in the proper wood."
"Near the border, is it? Very well, call my generals. We will annex Irwin-Amadeus' Sawmill . . . then I will make the finest rack in the world! Then I can really have some FUN!"
"As Your Majesty commands."