Examining the Archives

King Ludwig was going through some old records when he came across an account of a Stagonian raid into the Duchy of the North. (It should be noted that the king did not think of his nation as "vile" . . . one of the ways in which he is almost unique).

He carefully opened the report and began to read . . . .

. . . (Translation . . . we will be fighting a battle this coming Sunday using Clarence Harrison's "Victory Without Quarter" rules for the ECW. However, since I don't have any ECW figures, I will be using late Renaissance figures and we will place the battle in the early-mid 17th century. An account will follow next week.)

-- Jeff

Oh, the Vilest of Schemes is Afoot

"So, my dear, does that imbecile of a Grand Duke have any idea?"

"No, my Love, my agents report that he dotes on that little snuff box. Further, that he insisted on holding it in his portrait so that it is quite visible . . . and we made sure that several Zichenauers viewed the portrait."

"And now they are invading! How delightfully devious your are, my dear Duchess."

"Indeed, my sweet, and now this will facilitate your plans, won't it."

"Most vilely, Love. Most very vilely."

Oppertunity for Vileness Knocks

"The reports are confirmed, Your Majesty. Zichenauer is massing troops on the Stollenian border."

"Good, very good. And I presume that that fool, the Grand Duke Irwin-Amadeus, will mass his entire army to face them."

"One would presume so, Sire."

"Indeed. Inform my generals that I wish to see them. There is an opportunity here for . . . . "

"For what, Your Majesty?"

"Why, vileness, sir. Vileness . . . what else?"

Holidays? Bah, humbug!

In the depths of Stagonia's vile Nochtswan Castle (pictured at left -- click for a larger image), Ludwig du Vile, the young king of Stagonia, cursed the holidays.

"Why are the peasants so joyful because of this "Christmas" nonsense?"

"I need to find out. Go, get me a dozen or so assorted peasants. I'll torture them on my new 'Stollen rack'. " (at his words, some of his vile courtiers left to fetch the required peasants).

Giggling, the mad monarch (seen at left) continued, "Wouldn't Irwin Amadeus be furious if he knew to what purpose I've put his precious timbers?"

Now alone, Koenig Ludwig mused about his future plans. Where would his mighty troops strike next?

"I could strike Stollen again. The Elector of Zichenau has been after me to coordinate something vile like last year. I could attack Frankszonia but there are all of those Gallian troops nearby. "

"Let me see, Wittenberg is rather weak right now, perhaps I should hit them? Or what about . . . yes, that might be a very nasty move."

Grinning from ear to ear, his vileness mused, "Why Christmas IS a wonderful time . . . it gives me such ideas." But before he could complete his thoughts, his courtiers returned with the peasants he would torture.

Waiting is So Frustrating

Koenig Ludwig of the Kingdom of Stagonia was in a foul mood as he railed in the presence of both the Duchess and his foul mother.

"I hate this. I don't know if my plots will have had time to develop with the change in scheduling. Why did the Grand Tour have to bypass Wittenberg?"

"Well my plots are in the same situation" complained the frustrated Duchess of Saschen-Vindow, Ludwig's lover and would-be queen.

"Children, don't fret," purred Ludwig's evil mother (formerly a member of the de Sade family), "My plots have been prepared for months . . . and they are fiendish. All we need do is to wait for the vile news."

"But I HATE waiting, Mother . . . and I wish I could see the mayhem."

"Grand Tour" Plans

"Will the 'Frankszonian Incident' be ready in time?" growled the Vile King to his Foreign Minister. "The Grand Tour will be arriving sooner than expected due to the Wittenberg fiasco."

"There's no way to know at this point, sire. We'll just have to wait and hope." replied the harried minister.

"Patience, my dear" cooed the Duchess . . . "if the timing isn't right in Frankszonia, you'll think of something equally clever for later."

"But I hate waiting," snarled Koenig Ludwig.

"Sad" News Reaches Stagonia

After receiving a message, Koenig Ludwig of Stagonia sent for his mistress, the Duchess of Saschen-Vindow.

"You sent for me?" purred the behatted beauty (see photo at left).

"Indeed, my dear. I have just had some bad news." replied the vile king.

"Oh? What news is that?" replied the Duchess.

"A death." sighed Ludwig,

"Well that happens. Who died."

"A young man. Noble they say. Let us have some wine to toast the fact that we still live." said the king, "And that . . ."

"And that . . . what?" coaxed the dark lady of Saschen-Vindow.

The king sighed again . . . and stretching it out finally said, while raising his glass, "And that you are now a widow."

With a gasp, the 'bereaved' beauty exclaimed, "Peter dead! Thank God."

"Are you sure that he's the one you need to thank?" smirked Ludwig the Vile.