Tuesday, December 16, 2008

"The King is Dead!"

Apparently the rumors that have been circulating for months are true.

Koenig Maurice du Vile and several members of his family were poisoned.

While the king survived this attempt, he was much debilitated by this foul assault upon his person.

Thus is there any question as to why he has apparently chosen
to end his life.

He has been succeeded by his noble cousin, Ludwig du Vile (pictured at left).

Koenig Maurice's last moments must have been sad indeed. He is reported to have committed suicide by gouging out both of his eyes, burning many parts of his body and finally using three blows of an axe to chop off his own head . . . all of this with his hands bound behind his back.

Koenig Maurice was indeed a most amazing monarch . . . is there any question as to why so many foreign nations were so envious of him?

Little is known of Koenig Ludwig's personality or just how he came to power since he has spent most of his life in seclusion at Nochtswan Castle (pictured at left).

However the rumors that his mother, Lucrezia de Sade, has tutored him in certain black arts are assuredly unfounded.

What this will mean for Stagonian foreign policy is not yet known . . . but certainly the foreign power or powers that poisoned good Koenig Maurice and thus indirectly caused him to end his own life will soon feel the weight of Stagonian arms in their just retribution.


-- Stagonian Jeff for Koenig Ludwig du Vile of the Kingdom of Stagonia

13 comments:

Capt Bill said...

My wife and I had the pleasure of visiting this magnificent castle some years ago. Thanks for the memories...Bill

Herzog Ignaz said...

Putting down the ciphered dispatch, Prinz Friedrich von Waldreck sighed a world-weary sigh and rang for his major-domo. After a moment, the mute, wizened Mandarin glided into the room with a calm disturbed only by the slight ruffle of his silken Hanfu robes.

"Master Zi, see to it that official condolences are sent to the Winter Palace of Stagonia, and please send for the young Comte de Mazan. I have some questions for him touching his dear aunt."

Bluebear Jeff said...

Hmmm, does anyone else wonder how a blind man with his hands tied behind him wields an axe so as to chop his head off in three whacks?


-- Jeff

Martin said...

Mack the Knife bowed his best courtly bow before the Margravine of Raubenstadt. "We have reliable conformation that the Vile King is dead, My Lady. They're saying it was a suicide...If so, it was the worst case of suicide I've ever heard of. His replacement, King Ludwig is rumored to be just as unhinged as his cousin, and our "Plausable Deniability" may not carry much weight in his eyes."

"Perhaps the new King will be wiser than the old.", She replied. "Arrange to have a wreath of withered roses sent to Stagonia. Let them see the thorns amidst the blooms!"

Martin said...

Mack the Knife bowed his best courtly bow before the Margravine of Raubenstadt. "We have reliable conformation that the Vile King is dead, My Lady. They're saying it was a suicide...If so, it was the worst case of suicide I've ever heard of. His replacement, King Ludwig is rumored to be just as unhinged as his cousin, and our "Plausable Deniability" may not carry much weight in his eyes."

"Perhaps the new King will be wiser than the old.", She replied. "Arrange to have a wreath of withered roses sent to Stagonia. Let them see the thorns amidst the blooms!"

Fitz-Badger said...

I would say methinks something is rotten in Stagonia, but that would be redundant!

Der Alte Fritz said...

I would imagine that a certain black coach was recently seen in the vicinity of Stagonia. Another job well done.

Frankfurter said...

Frankszonia issues a denial that it had imported tainted sausages or leaded wine to Stagonia. "They produce enough like that on their own," the Hurtshog Fahrtz said, "Though the incident does sound like somebody has been consuming some of Cut Me Own Throat Dilber's wares ...."

In the meantime, the court has ordered a solemn Drink to That for the passing of rule at which appropriate epigra ... uh ... eulogies,yes,eulogies will be recited for the Spirits of poor deranged Maurice.

tidders said...

Ludwig du Vile - definitely looks vile. Vile by name, vile by nature.

Stokes Schwartz said...

Intrigue -- I love it! Shades of Ancient Rome and, perhaps, Machiavelli. By the way, watch your mailbox. I sent a little something seasonal to you several days ago.

Best Regards,

Stokes

Snickering Corpses said...

The Principality of Hesse-Engelburg sends their condolences to the Kingdom of Stagonia upon the death of their ruler.

tradgardmastare said...

Yet another highly perfumed letter arrives from the Duchess of Saschen-Vindow. In it she pledges her deepest devotion to the new king. She restates that they are indeed soul mates and how she has become entranced by a portrait of him she has seen, She begs he replies directly...

Frankfurter said...

An Extemporaneous Effusion on the Passing of King Maurice DeVille

(Note: Frankszonian officials insist that this broadsheet which appeared on the doors of some local taverns does not accurately represent any of the poetic tributes offered at the official “Drink to That” event ... though they can’t seem to find anybody who remembers those very clearly ....)

Old King Maurice of Stagonia is dead now, alas!
Pity their girls of their working nights class:
Who must now half their prices
For duration of the crisis.
For what species will King Fred prefer in His bed?

Mad Maurice, alas, has horribly died.
Stagonia insists that it Was a suicide.
Of Course that is true,
For surely, just like you,
New King Fred is sadly aware of how he tried!

Stagonian nights must be terribly depraved.
Their Kings have become so sickly and afraid,
So filled with depravity
They catch their decaptivity
With bracelets behind so shiny and engraved.



In other news ....

Though the court does not wish to start the Witch Hysterias anew, it has taken notice of the purported activities of the recently ascended King Frederick De Vile of Stagonia.
As a consequence, we are recruiting specialists from the Rabbinate and also will encourage quarterly competitions in composing and painting distelfinks ... (probably spelt wrong ... those are the colorful, kaleidoscopic patterns used by the “Pennsylvania Dutch” and their German forbears to attract good spirits and drive off bad ones).